Things The Kids At School Said

2010-07-30T08:02:00.000-07:00

Girl, 4: "A lady po-po came to our door because someone wearing a pink jacket was throwing wine glasses at our house."

2010-07-30T08:01:00.000-07:00

Boy, 4: "Barbarians don't say excuse me when they burp and fart."

2010-06-21T18:29:00.000-07:00

Girl, 5: "I went to Safeway with my parents, but my mom said I couldn't have any more Jell-O."
Boy, 5: "Don't worry. I have lots at home. I'll mail you some."

2010-06-02T15:48:00.000-07:00

Me: "Does your tummy hurt?"
Girl, 4 (throwing up into toilet): My tummy isn't upset; my head is upset."

2010-05-12T09:43:00.000-07:00

Boy, 4: "I'm a princess!"
Teacher: "I'm a princess too!"
Boy, 4: "You can't be a princess. You're not wearing a dress."
Teacher: "You're not wearing one either."
Boy, 4: "But I'm still a princess!" (leaping on to a bench dancing and singing "let's dance!")

2010-05-06T20:40:00.001-07:00

Girl, 4: "My mom cries sometimes, but not like I cry."

2010-05-06T20:38:00.000-07:00

Girl, 5 (discussing fire safety): "And if you're stuck in your car and it's on fire, the firefighters might have to come get you out with the tweezers of life."

2010-04-30T08:04:00.000-07:00

Girl, 4 (holding phone against her ear with shoulder and talking into it while trying to pull a sparkling dress on over her clothes with her hands): "The dance party is running a little late. Is that okay? Okay, thanks, hon'."

2010-04-30T08:03:00.000-07:00

Boy, 4: "Everybody I know isn't dead yet."

2010-04-19T16:09:00.000-07:00

Girl #1, 4: "I'm a strawberry."
Girl #2, 4: "I want to be a strawberry."
Girl #1 (walking away): "I'm a strawberry."
Girl #2 (sobbing): "But I want to be a strawberry."
Me (walking over): "You can't be a strawberry too?"
Girl #2 (sobbing): "No, I can't!"
Me: Why can't there be two strawberries?"
Girl #2 (sobbing): "No! I love pink!"
Me: "You want to be the only strawberry."
Girl #2 (sobbing): "Yes!"

2010-03-24T14:08:00.000-07:00

Boy, 4: "My dad broke my heart yesterday."
Me: He did?"
Boy, 4: "Broke my heart, yes. That's when your feelings get hurt."

2010-03-22T14:13:00.001-07:00

Boy#1, 4 (holding a string cheese stick above his upper lip and wiggling it): "Hey, look -- I have a mustache."
Boy#2, 4 (laughing): "My grandpa has mustaches all over his body. Here...and here...and here..." (pointing to his face, head, chest, crotch, and backside)
Boy #1: "Really?"
Boy#2: "Yep. Covered all over."
Girl, 4: "Even on his booty?"
Boy#2: "Yep. Even on his booty."

2010-03-12T16:00:00.000-08:00

Me (reading book about knights to a few children): "So, this was Richard the Lionheart. He was king of England."
Boy, 4: "Who was the king of Burlingame?"

2010-03-11T07:47:00.000-08:00

Girl, 4: "What were you for Halloween again?"
Me: "An old man."
Girl, 4: "Did you put frosting in your hair?"

2010-03-01T15:53:00.000-08:00

Me: "What did you do over the weekend?"
Boy, 8: "Played my guitar."
Me: "Nice."
Boy, 8: "Yeah, it's a Fender Telecaster."
Me: "Oh cool."
Girl, 8: "Tele what? Can't be very cool if you can't pronounce it!"

2010-02-24T07:49:00.000-08:00

Girl#1, 15: "Are you British?"
Me: British? No, why?
Girl#1: "You walk like you're British."
Me: "Is it the sweater?"
Girl#1: "Yeah, but that's just part of it. You seem British."
Girl #2, 15: "He's hecka Irish.
Girl#1: "Could be."

2010-01-27T09:46:00.000-08:00

Teacher: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Boy, 5: "A fireman."
Teacher: "Why?"
Boy, 5: "Because I already have the costume."

2010-01-15T09:55:00.000-08:00

Teacher: "So, who was Martin Luther King?"
Girl, 4: "He was the person who said that people with different skin don't have to do different jobs."
Boy, 4: "He was like the president but he wasn't a president."

2010-01-15T09:51:00.000-08:00

Girl, 4 (dancing to music, yelling at another girl, also 4): "Hey, Anna, take off your headband so you can rock and roll."

2010-01-12T10:23:00.001-08:00

Girl, 4 (mumbling from her nap-time mat)
Me (walking past): "What? Did you say something?"
Girl, 4: "No -- just blah blah blah."

2010-01-05T15:49:00.000-08:00

Me: "Okay, so write down what happened first in the story, then second, and then what happened at the end. Then, I want you to write down your favorite part."
Boy, 8: "Okay, sure."
Me: "What was your favorite part?"
Boy, 8: "I liked it when he pooped."
Me: "No one pooped in the story."
Boy, 8: "I know."

2009-12-11T19:21:00.000-08:00

Boy, 4 (playing with Legos, talking to another boy also playing Legos): "Hey, does your guy want to come over and have a play-date?"

Thanks, Tracy, for this one!

2009-12-11T19:17:00.000-08:00

Boy, 4 (pretending to talk on the phone): "Are you better or still sick?"
Girl, 4: "Still sick."
Boy, 4: "When will you be better?"
Girl, 4: "In two minutes."
Boy, 4: "Oh -- in two minutes?"
Girl, 4: "Yes, 'cause the doctor will be here in one minute."

2009-12-11T19:13:00.000-08:00

Girl, 4 (wearing a princess costume, looking at her reflection in a mirror): "Do I look beautiful in this, teacher?"
Me: "You can be beautiful in anything."
Girl, 4: "Do I look like a princess fairy?"
Me: "Do you feel like a princess fairy?"
Girl, 4: "Oh, yes, I do."

2009-12-04T13:47:00.000-08:00

Girl, 4 (showing me a picture she drew): "Look what I drew."

Me: "What is it?"

Girl, 4: "Well, it's a story about magic, sparkling happiness, and true love."

2009-12-02T09:34:00.000-08:00

Girl, 4 (loudly, shaking her fist), to Boy, 4: "Stop squishing me! I am not for squishing!"

2009-11-30T14:05:00.000-08:00

Boy #1: "Can I play with your Lego guy?"
Boy#2: "No."
Boy#1 (whispering): "Come on, I'll give you $5."
Boy#2: "Okay."
Boy#1: "I have it at home."
Boy#2: "You need to give it to me today."
Boy#1: "I don't have it here."
Boy#2: "You need to save for it then."

2009-11-19T15:48:00.000-08:00

Boy #1: "I'm Captain Cody!"
Boy#2: "I'm Mace Windu!"
Boy#3: "I'm Obi-Wan!"
Boy#2: "You don't even like Star Wars."

2009-11-12T13:49:00.000-08:00

Girl, 4: "Who will hug me? I need a hand to hold. I promise I won't be crazy."

2009-11-09T09:40:00.000-08:00

Girl, 4 (pointing to a page in her "Little Mermaid" book): "Look, Ariel is rescuing a pirate."
Me: "That's a prince, not a pirate. In Disney movies, Ariels don't fall in love with pirates, unfortunately."
Girl, 4: "In my movie, Ariel does."

2009-11-08T08:41:00.001-08:00

Girl, 4: "Oh, you should take naps. Naps make you pretty."

2009-10-29T09:54:00.000-07:00

Boy, 4: "My daddy yelled at me too hard. Then Mommy yelled at Daddy."
Me: "I see."
Boy, 4: "My daddy's fart stinked."
Me: "Did Mommy yell at him for that?"
Boy, 4: "Yes, it was bad. He had time-out on the couch."

2009-10-26T15:45:00.000-07:00

Me (staring down at book in amazement): "How did you find Waldo so fast?"
Boy, 4: "Because I'm the champion."
Me: "Of what?"
Boy, 4: "Of the world."

2009-10-26T15:44:00.000-07:00

Boy#1, 4: "I'm Luke Skywalker."
Boy#2, 4: "Well, I'm Master Yoda."
Boy #3, 4: "Well, I'm the whole Jedi Council."

2009-10-21T09:45:00.000-07:00

Girl, 4: My mom calls me pumpkin, and sweetheart, and sweetie pie -- you know, cute things."

2009-10-19T16:00:00.000-07:00

Boy #1 (getting up from nap): "Where's my blanket?"
Boy#2: "Maybe it's in your backpack."
Boy#3: "Maybe it's in your head."
Boy#1: "Don't make jokes about my blanket."

2009-10-06T13:28:00.000-07:00

Boy #1,4 (tackling Boy #2, 4): "You broke my legos 10 times!" Boy#2: "Well, just cause I broke your legos 10 times doesn't mean you can tackle me 8 times!" (Pause) Boy#1: "Well, 10 is more than 8." (Pause) Boy#2: "I'm hungry."

2009-09-29T08:04:00.000-07:00

Boy, 4 (picking at his school lunch): "I'm hungry; I need Mcdonald's."
Teacher: What do you like at Mcdonald's?"
Boy, 4 (tilting his head and squinting as if thinking hard): "Cheeseburgers and diet Coke."
Teacher: "What other foods do you like?"
Boy, 4 (after a long, long pause): "Hamburgers."

2009-09-25T17:43:00.000-07:00

Girl, 4 (scribbling and sighing): "I just can't draw princesses as good as you."
Me: It's okay -- I've been drawing for a long time -- ever since I was your age. I'm old now."
Girl, 4: "You're not so so so old."
Me: "No, but I'm much older than you."
Girl, 4: "You're not so old that you can't take care of us."

2009-09-25T06:38:00.000-07:00

Boy, 4 (flicking a Lego astronaut off the 3rd story of a Lego house he'd built with major teacher assistance): "Oh no, there he goes! He's falling off! BAM! Now, he's like grandpa."

2009-09-25T06:35:00.000-07:00

Teacher (to Boy, 4): "Is your house close?"
Boy, 4: "No, it's open."

2009-09-24T07:43:00.000-07:00

Me (exasperated): "Why can't you stay in line?"
Girl, 4 (staring up, indignant): "I'm just looking at the world."

2009-09-22T07:51:00.000-07:00

Girl, 3.5 (pushing a crayon across the table): "Teacher, can you draw me a triangle?"
Me: "Did you try to do it yourself?"
Girl, 3.5: "I tried to try."

2009-09-19T13:00:00.000-07:00

Girl, 4 (to me): "Teacher, teacher -- will you draw me as a mermaid?
Me: "No, not right now, I can't."
Girl, 4 (putting her hands on my shoulder and tilting her head on to it): "Oh, but you are the artist, teacher -- you draw so good."
Me: What are you if I am the artist?
Girl, 4: "I'm the cute one."

2009-09-18T14:02:00.001-07:00

Girl, 4 (Chinese, speaking to a teacher, also Chinese): “You’re like a Chinese princess. Can I do your hair?

2009-09-18T14:01:00.006-07:00

Boy, 4: “Is your grandpa old?” Teacher: “I don’t actually have any grandpas left.” Boy, 4: “Was he not nice?”

2009-09-18T14:01:00.005-07:00

Boy, 3.5 (staring up at me): “My daddy washed all of the stink off my head last night. Do you have stink on your head?”

2009-09-18T14:01:00.003-07:00

Girl, 4: “I’m going to be a beautiful phoenix for Halloween.” Boy, 4: “Who’s going to be Barack Obama?” Teacher: “What does Barack Obama look like? Where would you get that costume?” Boy, 4: “You just go to the store and buy it.”

2009-09-18T14:01:00.001-07:00

Teacher: “Why do you think the Mona Lisa is smiling?” Girl, 4: “She’s looking at a baby animal.” Boy, 4: “She’s saying ‘cheese’.”

2009-09-18T14:00:00.004-07:00

Girl, 4 (dressed in wonder woman costume): “i’m wonder woman!” Girl, 5: “you can’t wear costumes to school.” Girl, 4 (dressed in wonder woman costume): “it’s not a costume.”

2009-09-18T14:00:00.003-07:00

Girl, 4 (wearing tutu, spinning on carpet): “I’m Ballerina Barbie!” Teacher: “No, you’re not; you’re Chelsea.” Girl, 4: “I’m only kidding.”

2009-09-18T13:59:00.006-07:00

Girl, 4 (to me, poking my knee): “What’s gotten into you today?”

2009-09-18T13:59:00.005-07:00

Girl #1, 5: “Draw a monster.” Me (drawing a monster): “Here’s your monster.” Girl #1, 5: “Make his bum stick out.” Girl #2, 4: “All monsters have bums. Make it like a coconut.”

2009-09-18T13:59:00.003-07:00

Boy, age 4 (holding pretend microphone): “Hello, hot sauce; hey, mister ketchup-man; i want a pizza, please.”

2009-09-18T13:59:00.001-07:00

Boy, age 4: “do you know billie jean?”

2009-09-18T13:58:00.002-07:00

boy, age 4: “i dare you to feel my muscles”

2009-09-18T13:58:00.001-07:00

boy, age 4: “jeff tweedy sings in wilco”