Girl, 4: "A lady po-po came to our door because someone wearing a pink jacket was throwing wine glasses at our house."

Boy, 4: "Barbarians don't say excuse me when they burp and fart."

Girl, 5: "I went to Safeway with my parents, but my mom said I couldn't have any more Jell-O."
Boy, 5: "Don't worry. I have lots at home. I'll mail you some."

Me: "Does your tummy hurt?"
Girl, 4 (throwing up into toilet): My tummy isn't upset; my head is upset."

Boy, 4: "I'm a princess!"
Teacher: "I'm a princess too!"
Boy, 4: "You can't be a princess. You're not wearing a dress."
Teacher: "You're not wearing one either."
Boy, 4: "But I'm still a princess!" (leaping on to a bench dancing and singing "let's dance!")

Girl, 4: "My mom cries sometimes, but not like I cry."

Girl, 5 (discussing fire safety): "And if you're stuck in your car and it's on fire, the firefighters might have to come get you out with the tweezers of life."