Boy, 4 (playing with Legos, talking to another boy also playing Legos): "Hey, does your guy want to come over and have a play-date?"

Thanks, Tracy, for this one!

Boy, 4 (pretending to talk on the phone): "Are you better or still sick?"
Girl, 4: "Still sick."
Boy, 4: "When will you be better?"
Girl, 4: "In two minutes."
Boy, 4: "Oh -- in two minutes?"
Girl, 4: "Yes, 'cause the doctor will be here in one minute."

Girl, 4 (wearing a princess costume, looking at her reflection in a mirror): "Do I look beautiful in this, teacher?"
Me: "You can be beautiful in anything."
Girl, 4: "Do I look like a princess fairy?"
Me: "Do you feel like a princess fairy?"
Girl, 4: "Oh, yes, I do."

Girl, 4 (showing me a picture she drew):  "Look what I drew."

Me:  "What is it?"

Girl, 4:  "Well, it's a story about magic, sparkling happiness, and true love."

Girl, 4 (loudly, shaking her fist), to Boy, 4: "Stop squishing me! I am not for squishing!"

Boy #1: "Can I play with your Lego guy?"
Boy#2: "No."
Boy#1 (whispering): "Come on, I'll give you $5."
Boy#2: "Okay."
Boy#1: "I have it at home."
Boy#2: "You need to give it to me today."
Boy#1: "I don't have it here."
Boy#2: "You need to save for it then."

Boy #1: "I'm Captain Cody!"
Boy#2: "I'm Mace Windu!"
Boy#3: "I'm Obi-Wan!"
Boy#2: "You don't even like Star Wars."

Girl, 4:  "Who will hug me?  I need a hand to hold.  I promise I won't be crazy."

Girl, 4 (pointing to a page in her "Little Mermaid" book): "Look, Ariel is rescuing a pirate."
Me: "That's a prince, not a pirate. In Disney movies, Ariels don't fall in love with pirates, unfortunately."
Girl, 4: "In my movie, Ariel does."

Girl, 4: "Oh, you should take naps. Naps make you pretty."

Boy, 4: "My daddy yelled at me too hard. Then Mommy yelled at Daddy."
Me: "I see."
Boy, 4: "My daddy's fart stinked."
Me: "Did Mommy yell at him for that?"
Boy, 4: "Yes, it was bad. He had time-out on the couch."

Me (staring down at book in amazement): "How did you find Waldo so fast?"
Boy, 4: "Because I'm the champion."
Me: "Of what?"
Boy, 4: "Of the world."

Boy#1, 4: "I'm Luke Skywalker."
Boy#2, 4: "Well, I'm Master Yoda."
Boy #3, 4: "Well, I'm the whole Jedi Council."

Girl, 4: My mom calls me pumpkin, and sweetheart, and sweetie pie -- you know, cute things."

Boy #1 (getting up from nap): "Where's my blanket?"
Boy#2: "Maybe it's in your backpack."
Boy#3: "Maybe it's in your head."
Boy#1: "Don't make jokes about my blanket."

Boy #1,4 (tackling Boy #2, 4): "You broke my legos 10 times!" Boy#2: "Well, just cause I broke your legos 10 times doesn't mean you can tackle me 8 times!" (Pause) Boy#1: "Well, 10 is more than 8." (Pause) Boy#2: "I'm hungry."

Boy, 4 (picking at his school lunch): "I'm hungry; I need Mcdonald's."
Teacher: What do you like at Mcdonald's?"
Boy, 4 (tilting his head and squinting as if thinking hard): "Cheeseburgers and diet Coke."
Teacher: "What other foods do you like?"
Boy, 4 (after a long, long pause): "Hamburgers."

Girl, 4 (scribbling and sighing): "I just can't draw princesses as good as you."
Me: It's okay -- I've been drawing for a long time -- ever since I was your age. I'm old now."
Girl, 4: "You're not so so so old."
Me: "No, but I'm much older than you."
Girl, 4: "You're not so old that you can't take care of us."

Boy, 4 (flicking a Lego astronaut off the 3rd story of a Lego house he'd built with major teacher assistance): "Oh no, there he goes! He's falling off! BAM! Now, he's like grandpa."

Teacher (to Boy, 4): "Is your house close?"
Boy, 4: "No, it's open."

Me (exasperated): "Why can't you stay in line?"
Girl, 4 (staring up, indignant): "I'm just looking at the world."

Girl, 3.5 (pushing a crayon across the table): "Teacher, can you draw me a triangle?"
Me: "Did you try to do it yourself?"
Girl, 3.5: "I tried to try."

Girl, 4 (to me): "Teacher, teacher -- will you draw me as a mermaid?
Me: "No, not right now, I can't."
Girl, 4 (putting her hands on my shoulder and tilting her head on to it): "Oh, but you are the artist, teacher -- you draw so good."
Me: What are you if I am the artist?
Girl, 4: "I'm the cute one."

Girl, 4 (Chinese, speaking to a teacher, also Chinese): “You’re like a Chinese princess. Can I do your hair?

Boy, 4: “Is your grandpa old?” Teacher: “I don’t actually have any grandpas left.” Boy, 4: “Was he not nice?”

Boy, 3.5 (staring up at me): “My daddy washed all of the stink off my head last night. Do you have stink on your head?”

Girl, 4: “I’m going to be a beautiful phoenix for Halloween.” Boy, 4: “Who’s going to be Barack Obama?” Teacher: “What does Barack Obama look like? Where would you get that costume?” Boy, 4: “You just go to the store and buy it.”

Teacher: “Why do you think the Mona Lisa is smiling?” Girl, 4: “She’s looking at a baby animal.” Boy, 4: “She’s saying ‘cheese’.”

Girl, 4 (dressed in wonder woman costume): “i’m wonder woman!” Girl, 5: “you can’t wear costumes to school.” Girl, 4 (dressed in wonder woman costume): “it’s not a costume.”

Girl, 4 (wearing tutu, spinning on carpet): “I’m Ballerina Barbie!” Teacher: “No, you’re not; you’re Chelsea.” Girl, 4: “I’m only kidding.”

Girl, 4 (to me, poking my knee): “What’s gotten into you today?”

Girl #1, 5: “Draw a monster.” Me (drawing a monster): “Here’s your monster.” Girl #1, 5: “Make his bum stick out.” Girl #2, 4: “All monsters have bums. Make it like a coconut.”

Boy, age 4 (holding pretend microphone): “Hello, hot sauce; hey, mister ketchup-man; i want a pizza, please.”

Boy, age 4: “do you know billie jean?”

boy, age 4: “i dare you to feel my muscles”

boy, age 4: “jeff tweedy sings in wilco”