Me: "What did you do over the weekend?"
Boy, 8: "Played my guitar."
Me: "Nice."
Boy, 8: "Yeah, it's a Fender Telecaster."
Me: "Oh cool."
Girl, 8: "Tele what? Can't be very cool if you can't pronounce it!"

Girl#1, 15: "Are you British?"
Me: British? No, why?
Girl#1: "You walk like you're British."
Me: "Is it the sweater?"
Girl#1: "Yeah, but that's just part of it. You seem British."
Girl #2, 15: "He's hecka Irish.
Girl#1: "Could be."

Teacher: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Boy, 5: "A fireman."
Teacher: "Why?"
Boy, 5: "Because I already have the costume."

Teacher: "So, who was Martin Luther King?"
Girl, 4: "He was the person who said that people with different skin don't have to do different jobs."
Boy, 4: "He was like the president but he wasn't a president."

Girl, 4 (dancing to music, yelling at another girl, also 4): "Hey, Anna, take off your headband so you can rock and roll."

Girl, 4 (mumbling from her nap-time mat)
Me (walking past): "What? Did you say something?"
Girl, 4: "No -- just blah blah blah."

Me: "Okay, so write down what happened first in the story, then second, and then what happened at the end. Then, I want you to write down your favorite part."
Boy, 8: "Okay, sure."
Me: "What was your favorite part?"
Boy, 8: "I liked it when he pooped."
Me: "No one pooped in the story."
Boy, 8: "I know."