Girl #1, 4: "I'm a strawberry."
Girl #2, 4: "I want to be a strawberry."
Girl #1 (walking away): "I'm a strawberry."
Girl #2 (sobbing): "But I want to be a strawberry."
Me (walking over): "You can't be a strawberry too?"
Girl #2 (sobbing): "No, I can't!"
Me: Why can't there be two strawberries?"
Girl #2 (sobbing): "No! I love pink!"
Me: "You want to be the only strawberry."
Girl #2 (sobbing): "Yes!"

Boy, 4: "My dad broke my heart yesterday."
Me: He did?"
Boy, 4: "Broke my heart, yes. That's when your feelings get hurt."

Boy#1, 4 (holding a string cheese stick above his upper lip and wiggling it): "Hey, look -- I have a mustache."
Boy#2, 4 (laughing): "My grandpa has mustaches all over his body. Here...and here...and here..." (pointing to his face, head, chest, crotch, and backside)
Boy #1: "Really?"
Boy#2: "Yep. Covered all over."
Girl, 4: "Even on his booty?"
Boy#2: "Yep. Even on his booty."

Me (reading book about knights to a few children): "So, this was Richard the Lionheart. He was king of England."
Boy, 4: "Who was the king of Burlingame?"

Girl, 4: "What were you for Halloween again?"
Me: "An old man."
Girl, 4: "Did you put frosting in your hair?"

Me: "What did you do over the weekend?"
Boy, 8: "Played my guitar."
Me: "Nice."
Boy, 8: "Yeah, it's a Fender Telecaster."
Me: "Oh cool."
Girl, 8: "Tele what? Can't be very cool if you can't pronounce it!"

Girl#1, 15: "Are you British?"
Me: British? No, why?
Girl#1: "You walk like you're British."
Me: "Is it the sweater?"
Girl#1: "Yeah, but that's just part of it. You seem British."
Girl #2, 15: "He's hecka Irish.
Girl#1: "Could be."